The Saga of Michael Lohan

Never before has the country been held in such rapt attention as a saga played out in the public eye, perhaps since the Iran-hostage affair during the Carter presidency, as it is by the saga of actress(?), musician(?), media whore(!) Lindsay Lohan's estranged father Michael.

As of Feb. 24th Michael Lohan,has just racheted the drama of his trials and travails from extremely interesting to fascinating today by...um, probably either getting a DUI, or making a death threat or something... and as a result has graced the covers of not one, but two major New York City-based newspapers today. I'm not kidding- check out the nearest newstand- you'll see them front and center.

According to the Village Voice (which is not one of the publications on the Michael Lohan-cover bandwagon), since last May, he's been mentioned 30 times in the News, 26 times in the Post, and 17 times in Newsday. Glaringly, the New York Times has never reported the story.

Is it not enough that we have to see Lindsay Lohan grace the covers of magazines and tabloids everyweek, see photos of her newest cd or movie plastered on billboards and taxis all over the city, and know more about her relationship with that foreign guy from That 70's Show (and not by choice) than we know about our next door neighbors? She may be famous for all the wrong reasons, but she is in movies, and does have a cd out, so that kinda makes it ok that magazines like In Touch, Star, and US Weekly would maker her a frequent headline- that's what those publications are dedicated to anyway: the coverage of lame celebrities.

But for her Dad, who as far as I can tell has done nothing to be newsworthy since spurting his redheaded-gene carrying sperm up Lindsay's moms birth canal 18 years ago, to now be gracing the covers and headlines of major 'news'-targeted newspapers, is well... reassuring I suppose.

At least we know that our country and media has its priorities straight as we continue to loose Americans and Iraqis daily in Iraq, continue the merest begginnings of aiding and rebuilding in the devastation of the tsunami, and face four more years of a Presidential administration that is rolling back more essential environmental conservation legislation and civil liberties (including abortion if he gets his way) than any administration perhaps in American history.

God forbid we find out anything about how the relief efforts are going in Southeast Asia, as millions rebuild their lives and struggle to survive, before we know what Michael Lohan has gotten himself into the night before.

I, for one, wake up every morning and cannot concentrate on anything until I know how the latest chapter in the Michael Lohan saga has played out.