5 Reasons 2005 Is Gonna Rock!

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(Poppi, a top entertainment/fashion columnist, writes for Starz! magazine and Swedish Vogue. Her upcoming book Celebrate Celebrity! will be published later this year)

5 Reasons 2005 is Gonna Be a Rockin' Year!!!

2005 is gonna be one rockin' year, and anybody who doesn't thinks so can shut their traps and see below!!! Here's 5 Reasons 2005 is gonna be totally rad!-

1) The Big Screen:

Arguably the greatest stand up comic ever, Brad Garret (of Everybody Loves Raymond fame) teams up with arguably the greatest action star ever, Vin Diesel, for the family comedy, The Pacifier, about an ex-Navy Seal who teaches a deadbeat suburban dad a lesson.

We haven't been this excited about a comedic pairing since Dudley Moore and Liza Minelli in Arthur (1981)! And as for rumors of a steamy wrestling scene between Garret and Diesel, we haven't been this excited about man-on-man action since Ben Affleck took on Colin Farrell in Daredevil! We can't wait to see Vin Diesel go "medieval" on Garret's "ass".

2) The Small Screen:

Style Mavens Steven Cojocaru, Melissa Rivers, and Bobby Trendy team up to dish (and dis!) on the wardrobe choices of the stars in what promises to be the fashion/gossip show to end all fashion/gossip shows: "What the Bleep Was She Wearing!?" These dedicated divas promise to leave no fashion faux-pas unturned. Note to Lara Flynn Boyle: Stay behind closed doors where it’s safe!! (Yea, we went there!!!)

Brought to us by the folks at E!, what would we do without you guys? xo xo xo xo!

3) DVD:

It's been 476 agonizingly long days since the final episode of Mike Binder's marital masterpiece, the HBO dramedy Mind of the Married Man, aired and finally Mind of the Married Mind: The Complete Series is being released on DVD April 7th. I don't know about you, but I'm as excited to hear Biner's witty banter with fellow castmates on the commentary tracks as I am to relive each 'will he or won't he?' episode by oh, so fabulous episode!!!

4) Small Screen, Part Deux:

Martha Stewart helms a spin-off of the Apprentice, premiering on NBC March 15th. After six months of being someone else's bitch in prison, Martha Stewart is ready to make someone hers'! (Oh no we didn’t!!!, snap, snap, exclamation point, exclamation point.) Note to contestants: Don't you dare oversalt those mango shrimp hors d' oveurs!!!!

5) Music:

Avril Lavigne continues her World Arena Tour, Avril Lavigne: Under My Skin, and releases an UNCENSORED version of the 'Under My Skin' album! Double trouble from the Queen of Punk! Get out of the way Hilary Duff and Lindsay Lohan- the original rocker grrrrllll is back on the block!!!!

To all those naysayers who said there was no way 2005 could top 2004, eat our panties!!!!

by Shap Sweeney